At night, after my first session with my second healer, I prayed japa-mantra style to ask about becoming a pure channel, changing the words up every so often to keep my mind focused and remain awake.
“Please make me a pure channel. If it be Your will, O God, grant that I be made a pure channel by and for Divine Grace. Render me a pure channel, if it is in my highest good.”
I suppose that I prayed for two hours or so, weaving myself a cradle in which to sleep with the subtle changes in the verb forms and with the different ways in which I like to address God, because when sleep came it was heavy and satisfying.
In the morning, I awake before anyone else with my physical frame frozen, immobile against the bed. My husband is asleep next to me, completely unaware and unfazed. The bedroom is suffused with Unconditional Love. Light is emanating from four Light Beings who are present—one at each side of the bed.
Nothing in my upbringing could have prepared me for this visitation. Nothing in my spiritual practice would have prepared me for this experience of God’s Unconditional Love.
There are no words. I lay in a pool of Light and intense emotion. The feeling of Love, at some point, so overwhelms me that I peel myself off the bed by rolling to my side and carefully rolling off of our low bed frame. I am on the floor on all fours. Still, the intense emotion is present. Then, like a woman used to her space, who has just spent two unrelenting weeks with a new lover, I crawl to the front door of our apartment; and, reaching up to open the door, I ask Grace to please leave. Love left and my heart nearly broke.